I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
