I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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