K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
