Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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