i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
