New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
