At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
