there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
