If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
