In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
