I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
