Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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