I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
