I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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