Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Alive.
So much puke
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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