Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
