Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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