i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize