i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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