he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize