What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
