Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
