I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
