my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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