i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize