So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
