PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
