i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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