I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
