I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
