it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
