Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
