We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
