i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize