I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
