38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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