you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
