Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
