The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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