He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
