i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
