She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
