Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
