Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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