I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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