got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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