forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
