So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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