We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
