I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
