are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
