it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
