Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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