some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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