According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
