He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
