Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
