i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
