Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
