I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We left the knife in your bed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize