Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
