he shaved USA in his pubs
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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