I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
