he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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