After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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