It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
