I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
