its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
