I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im about as happy as oj after his trial
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
