I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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