So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
