Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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