to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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