I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize